On Saturdā mōrnin 26-yēr۔s-ōld mistōr Jēsus Diaz awāk۔d in his Montevideō won-rūm apartment erlē, alθō it wuz not a work·dā.  Wiθ θe prēvēus afternūn’s pāqek from Sāf Inxurans Trādkō hē fīnal۔lē had enuf monē tū purqas a prēvēus۔lē ōn۔d laptop ēlektronik·proses۔ōr.  Fīnal۔lē, bī θat Janyūarē sumer ov 2007, after a ful yēr ov sāv۔in, hē kud implement his plan tū suplement his inxurans ern۔ins bī sel۔ing vītamin۔s – and θen marē, justintīm, θe luv ov his līf.
            Hē alredē ōn۔d an ēlektronik·proses۔ōr, an ōld desk۔top model, ap haf θe prīs ov a laptop, ēzē۔lē rēpār۔abel (yūsūal۔lē bī slīd۔ing of θe sīd panel and rēplās۔ing a dēfektiv part), and sufixent fōr ē۔māil and serq۔ing Internet – but muq tyū larj and kumbersom tū transpōrt tū pōtenxal kustomōr۔s’ ofis۔s.  Sōkald laptop kompyūt۔ōrs (ēlektronik۔proses۔ōrs smal enuf tū put on θe yūs۔ōrs’ lap۔s) wuz ēzē۔lē transpōrt۔abel, but mōr ekspensiv and mōr difikult tū rēpār.  Θus after dres۔ing and flōpōr۔ing a kup ov kofē, hē swiq۔d on his desk۔top ēlektronik·proses۔ōr and, pēr۔ing at θe ē۔displā, manūver۔d θrū θe planet-around ēlektronik network Internet tū an advert sītplās in his Souθ Amerika۔ē nāxun Ūrugwī fōr “prēvēus۔lē ōn۔t” θing۔s fōr sāel, and klik۔d on “ēlektronik۔s”.
            Ov θe fīv laptops θat apēr۔d, won wuz wiθin Diaz’s bujet:  Lēō brand, ēkwip۔t – non۔alīk mōst ōld laptops – wiθ 20-gigabīt۔s-sīz memōrē stōraj and, mōst impōrtant۔lē, a vidēō·disk rēd۔ōr, and it inklūd۔d a karē kās.  Θe ōn۔ōr ask۔d 30,000 Ūrugwī۔ē pesō۔s (slīt۔bē mōr θan Diaz’s bēfōr-taks monθ۔ē salarē).  Θe telefōn eksqānj (first θrē dijit۔s) hē rekognīz۔d az alsō bēing in Montevideō, Ūrugwī’s kapital·sitē. 
            Wiθout anoθer θot Diaz rēq۔d fōr his telefōn and dīal۔d θe number.
            “Helō?”  A woman’s vōis – in Espanya۔ēz, θe nāxunal langwij.
            “Ī iz telefōn۔ing about yōr laptop.  Iz it stil fōr sāel?”
            “Yes.”  Xē sound۔d slēp۔ē. 
            “Eksakt۔lē wut Ī iz lōok۔ing fōr.  Kan Ī kom sē it?”
            “Ō.”  Xē poz۔d.  “Xur.”
            “Wār dū yū resīd?  Ī mēn,” hē korekt۔d hiself bēkuz woman۔s xī۔d from disklōz۔ing θā's adres۔s tū strānj man۔s, “wār kan Ī mēt yū?”
            “Um…  Plaza Espanya?”
             Ap 30-minut۔s wok awā.  “Ōkā.  Wār?”
            “Θe publikpark entrans nēr۔est tū θe river, dū yū no it?”
            “Ī wil fīnd it.”  Hē lōok۔d at his klok, and sujest۔d a tīm an klokhour awā.  “Ten ōklok?”
            “Muq tyū erlē.”  Xē laf۔d.
            “Eleven, θen?”
            “Alrīt.”
            “How wil Ī no yū?”
            “Um…  Ī wil hāv θe laptop wiθ mē.”
            “Ovkōrs.  Sē yū θen.”
            Sit۔ing at his desk, Diaz sip۔d his kofē.  Lēō wuz not won ov θe brand۔s hē had sē۔d in Montevideō stōr۔s dur his manē visit۔s tū gāz yern۔lē at nū laptops, wiq wuz ēkwip۔d wiθ wīer۔les Internet konekxun۔s and 80-gigabīt۔s memōrē stōraj.  But hē had nōtis۔d prēvēus۔lē ōn۔t Lēō laptops advertīz۔d dur θe Internet several okāxun۔s wiθin θe past yēr – rēmember۔t bēkuz ov θā's qēp ask۔ing prīs۔s.  A kwik Internet serq rēvēl۔d θat θe brand wuz manyūfaktūr۔d in Tīwan, sel۔d fōr purqas on θat īland of Qīna’s souθ·ēstern xōr, but not eksport۔d.  ‘Strānj, θen,’ θink۔d hē, ‘θat Ī wud sē sō manē Lēō۔s haf wā around θe planet.’
            In front ov θe bed·rūm miror hē kōm۔d his kurl۔ē brown hed·hār۔s, desīd۔d tū pōstpōn trim۔ing his θin mustax, and tuk۔d his yelō tēxirt intū his blū denim trouser.  Hē kramstuf۔d θe monē in his walet, and insert۔d a kopē ov θe vītamin vidēō·disk intū his dā bag.  His nekst impuls wuz tū telefōn his galfrend Bibēana wiθ his eksīt۔ing nūz, but θen hē rēmember۔d xē wuz spend۔ing θe wēkend in the kuntrē, help۔ing prepār fōr her yung۔er sister’s upkomē wed۔ing.  Θat mēn۔d θā wud not bē atend۔ing, az θā yūsūal۔lē dū۔d on Sundays, kaθōlikmas (Kaθolik Kristēan wēk۔ē qurq selebrāxun).  Hē desīd۔d tū wāt until θe nekst tīm hē sē۔d xē.
            Outsīd in warm sunxīn Jēsus Diaz wok۔d hapē۔lē along θe klēn strēt, alredē ful ov kar۔s and pēpel۔s embark۔ing on θā's wēkend.  Alθō in Montevideō resīd۔d ap 1,350,000 resīdent۔s, mōr θan won-θird ov θe popyūlāxun ov Ūrugwī nāxun, θe pōrt sitē wuz kompakt.  Kultūr۔lē diversifī wiθ pōlīt jeneral۔bē lo-abīd۔ing pēpel۔s, Montevideō had rēsent۔lē bēn rank۔d az θe sitē wiθ θe hī۔est kwalitē ov līf on Souθ Amerika kontinent.  Θe Ōld Sitē, wār Diaz resīd۔d, fētūr۔d a piktūresk blend ov kolōnēal Espanya۔ē, Italēa۔ē, and Art Dekō arkitektūral stīl۔s, wiθ mōst strēt۔s ofer۔ing vyū۔s ov θe blū water.  wok۔ing along, hē envixun۔d Bibēana’s parent۔s’ rēlēf upon lern۔ing θat hē wud fīnal۔lē bē sāv۔ing monē fōr a larj۔er apartment and a wed۔ing – θe siks yēr۔s kōrtxip, θā fēel۔d, wuz tyū long.  Rēsent۔lē Bibēana’s faθer had enkouraj۔d xē tū bēgin lōok۔ing around fōr a mōr sūt۔abel wū۔ōr wīel xē wuz stil yung enuf tū atrakt won.  Muq ov Diaz’s workwēk hē spend۔d visit۔ing trādkō۔s – analīz۔ing θā's nēd۔s, sel۔ing and updāt۔ing θā's inxurans polisē۔s, investigāt۔ing rēpōrt۔t los۔s – wiq alow۔d hē frē tīm dur ofis klokhour۔s.  Wiθ a pōrtabel dēvīs kāpabel ov animāxun and sound, hē kud sel vītamin۔s – az his best frend and kō۔work۔ōrt Fostō, hū had rēsent۔lē mūv۔d intū a θrē-rūms۔ē apartment wiθ a vyū ov θe bā, had bēn dū۔ing dur almōst a yēr.
            Hē stop۔d at a vend۔ōr fōr a bred rōl and at anoθer fōr a pāper kup ov qil۔t mangō jūs, θen purqas۔d El País nūzpāper, ēventyūal۔lē rēq۔ing θe publikpark, ajāsent tū Plaza Espanya and ōverlōok۔ing θe water (wār θe bā mēt۔d souθern Atlantik Ōxen).  Saturdā mōrnin bōθ θe publikpark and Plaza Espanya, a kompleks ov stōr۔s, wuz busel۔ē wiθ strōl۔ōrs and xop۔ōrs.  On a publikpark benq hē nibel۔d his bred bētwēn sip۔s ov mangō jūs, waq۔ing θe pedestrēan۔s, wīel skim۔ing θe nūzpāper, start۔ing wiθ θe spōrt۔s pāj, lēf۔ing θrū politikal nūz, end۔ing az yūsūal rēd۔ing θe dā۔ē esā bī prēst Salinas.
            Sūn bēfōr eleven ōklok, Diaz fōld۔d θe pāper and mil۔d around, until hē spotnōtis۔d a bust۔ē woman wiθ xōrt brown hār۔s karē۔ing a blak laptop kās, weār۔ing a tan legkaf-lenθ skirt and wīt blous.  Xē wok۔d tū θe leftsīd ov θe mān dōr, stop۔d, and lōok۔d around.
            Hē wok۔d ōver tū xē.  “Helō, iz yū θe woman wiθ θe Lēō?
            “Ō, yes.  Ī iz Elena.  Yū must bē…”
            “Jēsus Diaz.”  Hē rēsist۔d θe impulsiv tū ask her familē·nām, konsider۔ing it prī۔ing.
            “Wel…”  Xē dis۔zip۔d θe kās and pul۔d out a silver-kolor۔ē ēlektronik·proses۔ōr θe sīz and θik۔nes ov a piktūr·bōok okāxun۔lē lā۔d on sit·rūm kouq·tābel۔s.  “Hēr it iz.”
            Diaz ī۔d it envēus۔lē.  “How dū۔d yū hapen tū purqas a Lēō?”
            “Māk۔d in Tīwan, θe larj۔est prōdūs۔ōr ov laptops in θe world.”
            “Ī no, but Tīwan dōnt eksport θat brand.”
            “Ō, rēalē?”  Xē sēm۔d surpriz۔d, θen xrug۔d.  “Mī gīfrend purqas۔d it fōr mē.”
            “Nū?”
            Xē xāk۔d her hed sīd-tū-sīd, nō.
            “Iz θer anēθin rong wiθ it?”
            “Nō. Nothin.”
            “Wī iz yū sel۔ing it?”
            “Somθin hapen۔d, and Ī nēd monē.”
            Θat, tū θe yung man, sēm۔d plosibel.  Manē pēpel۔s in Ūrugwī survīv۔d from pāqek tū pāqek, wiθ litel ōr nō monēbank sāv۔ins, θus not prepār۔d fōr emerjensē۔s.  “Yū lūs۔d yōr job?” hē ask۔d, not bēkuz hē θink۔d xē had, but bēkuz hē want۔d tū no her okyūpāxun, tū furθer juj her karakter.
            “Ō, nō.  Ī iz a tēq۔ōr, sō mī job iz sekyūr.  It iz not θat.”
            Hē nod۔d, θink۔ing θat xē rēsembel۔d a tēq۔ōr tīp.  Her fīnanxal trubel wuz nun ov his biznes, alθō hē wud hav fēel۔d beter no۔ing wār xē work۔d.  But hē desīd۔d not tū ask fōr infō xē wud not fēel komfē rēvēl۔ing.  In Ūrugwī, a klōsnit nāxun۔et wiθ hī mōralitē and lō krīm, sāf tū asūm pēpel۔s wuz onest.  “Wil yū aksept 28 θousand?” hē ask۔d xē.
            Xē xāk۔d her hed, nō.  “Ī hav rēsēv۔d twū oθer telefōnkal۔s, θerfōr…”
            “Ī wud līk tū trī it.”
            Xē hesitāt۔d.
            “Asūm۔ing it funkxun wel, Ī wil purqas it fōr 30,000,” hē ad۔d.
            “Alrīt.”  Xē lōok۔d around.  Among θe wōod۔ē benq۔s līn۔ing θe wok۔ing paθ, won rēmān۔d vākant.  Xē pōint۔d.
            Hē agrē۔d, nod۔ing.  Az θā wok۔d ōver hē ask۔d, “How iz θe baterē?”
            “Gōod fōr won tū twū klokhour۔s, depend۔ing on how yū iz yūtilīz۔ing it.”
            Θā sit۔d on a nērbī benq, and xē hand۔d hē θe laptop, wiq hē set۔d on his lap.  Hē dis۔hinj۔d it, pūx۔d θe Start buton, and wāt۔d a fyū mōment۔s. Θe ē۔displā (θe sīz ov standard ofis rīt۔ing pāper) qānj۔d from blak tū lēf-grēn, ontū wiq apēr۔d kolorful θum-siz۔ē imaj۔s ov diferent kolor۔s and desīn۔s, ēq designāt۔ing a separāt funkxun:  a word-proses۔ōr fōr rīt۔ing, a dātabās fōr stōrkēp۔ing and ōrganīz۔ing infō, a spredxēt fōr list۔s ov kompyūtāxun۔s; Internet konekxun, myūzik plābak, vidēō plābak.
            “Kan Ī trī plā۔ing mī DVD?” hē ask۔d.
            Xē nod۔d yes.    
            On θe sīd ov θe ēlektronik-proses۔ōr hē pūx۔d a buton, and out pop۔d a trā, intū wiq hē put۔d his vīnil vidēō·disk θe θik۔nes ov kardbōrd and θe sīz ov a tē kup soser.  Hē pūx۔d θe trā bak intū θe maxēn, and a fyū mōment۔s lāter on θe ē۔displā apēr۔d a skarlet bakground wiθ wīt glimer۔ing leter۔s rēd۔ing, “Welkom tū θe world ov eksūberant helθ, present۔t bī Zest Vītamin Trādkō”.  At θe botom in smal۔er print:  “Klik hēr tū vyū nekst imaj.”
            “Iz yū sel۔ing vītamin۔s?” ask۔d Elena.
            “Ī wil bē, wons Ī purqas θis.” 
            Hē eksit۔d from θe prōgram, turn۔d of θe maxēn, xut۔d it, and rē-insert۔d it in it’s kās, θen rēq۔d intū his rēr trouser poket fōr his walet, hand۔d her fiftēn 2,000 pesō pāper·monē۔s, wiq xē kount۔d, and θā xāk۔d hand۔s on θe dēal.
            “Trī not tū bump it,” xē kal۔d after hē az hē wok۔d awā.
            Bak in his litel apartment hē set۔d θe laptop on his desk bēsīd θe desk۔top ē۔displā.  Az hē konekt۔d θe twū maxēn۔s, tū transfer θe nām۔s and telefōn number۔s ov pēpel۔s hū had ekspres۔d interest in vītamin۔s dur θe rēsent۔est fyū monθ۔s, his mūd wuz ekstatik.  Fīnal۔lē, θe opōrtūnitē tū ern mōr monē θan Ī nēd fōr survīval!’  Mōst suplementārē job۔s – fōreks fūd-serv۔ōrt ōr stōr klerk – pā۔d litel and ofer۔d nō fyūtūr, but, az Fostō had eksplān۔d, Ūrugwī wuz bēkum۔ing welθ۔ē enuf fōr pēpel۔s tū bē ābel tū spend monē on θā's helθ, az evidens۔t bī several fizikal bodēfitnes jim۔s θat had ōpen۔d in Montevideō.  Θe vītamin۔s, impōrt۔d from kontinent Nōrθ Amerika, nāxun USA, wuz ekspensiv (wiq mēn۔d signifikant sāel۔s komixun۔s), but stil qēp۔er θan pōr۔er kwalitē Souθ Amerika۔ē brand۔s; and sel۔ing θā tū individyūal۔s ēlimināt۔d θe big markups stōr۔s qarj۔d tū rēkover θā's rent, salarē۔s, ēlektrisitē, inxurans, etsetera.
            After θe infō had bēn transfer۔d tū θe laptop, Diaz ad۔d Elena’s nām and telefōn number, az anoθer posibel kustomōr.  Θen, tū prēserv θe dāta in θe maxēn’s memōrē hē pres۔d θe Sāv buton.
            Suden۔lē θe ē۔displā bēkum۔d blank.
            “Wut?!” Diaz krī۔d out.  Θe maxēn had – in ēlektronik·proses۔ōr langwij – krax۔d.
            Rēfleks۔lē hē hit۔d θe ēlektronik·proses۔ōr wiθ θe sīd ov his hand, and, tū his surpriz, lēf-grēn kolor rēturn۔d tū θe ē۔displā, az it otōmātik۔lē rē-start۔d.  But θe dāta hē had trī۔d tū stōrkēp wuz gon.  Θus hē rē۔transfer۔d θe dāta from θe desk۔top maxēn, and θat tīm wuz ābel tū sāv it. 
            Yet θe ekspērēens worē۔d hē, and sour۔d his mūd.  An non۔rēlī۔abel ēlektronik·proses۔ōr wuz worθ۔les az a sāel۔s tūol.  Difikult۔est wuz konvins۔ing pēpel۔s tū vyū θe vidēō prezentāxun, after wiq, from Fostō’s ekspērēens, θā yūsūal۔lē purqas۔d atlēst a botel ōr twū, θe first step in bēkum۔ing a regyūlar kustomōr.  Diaz insert۔d θe vītamin prezentāxun vidēō·disk, and bēgin۔d rē-plā۔ing it.  A fyū minut۔s lāter, fēel۔ing hunger۔ē, hē pik۔d up θe laptop and mūv۔d it tū his kitqen ārēa, set۔ing it on θe dīn۔ing kounter – upon wiq θe ē۔displā emptē۔d ov infō agin.  Krax۔d.
            Hē lōokstārl۔d at it, θink۔ing.  An ēlektronik·proses۔ōr xud not hav rē-start۔d mēr۔lē bēkuz hē had hit۔d it.  And, hē rēson۔d, perhaps set۔ing it on θe tābel had jar۔d it agin, koz۔ing it tū dis۔konekt.  Θat pōint۔d tū a posibel lūs konekxun problem.  Lūs konekxun problem۔s wuz yūsūal۔lē relativ۔bē ēzē۔lē solv۔d, alθō laptops, non۔alīk desk۔top maxēn۔s, kud not bē ōpen۔t and servis۔t bī ōrdinārē yūs۔ōrs alīk hiself.
            Θen hē rēmember۔d θat Elena had warn۔d hē not tū bump it – a dark θot, bēkuz, hē rēson۔d, if Elena had no۔d about θe problem xē wud probabel۔lē hav trī۔d tū fiks it, but wuz posibel۔lē non۔suksesful.  Lēō brand۔s, hē nekst rēalīz۔d, non۔alīk popyūlar brand۔s, wud bē non۔familar tū lōkal rēpār ekspert۔s.  Rēplāsment part۔s wud not bē redēlē avāilabel.  Θōs θot۔s koz۔d hē tū sit hevē۔lē on his stūol.
            Hē pul۔d out his walet, pul۔d out a pēs ov pāper, rēq۔d fōr θe telefōn, and pres۔d Elena’s number.
            “Helō?” xē anser۔d.
            “Helō, θis iz Jēsus Diaz, hū purqas۔d yōr laptop.  Ī hav ōnlē bēn yūtilīz۔ing it fōr haf an klokhour, and it’s alredē krax۔d twīs.”
            “Rēalē?”  Her vōis ring۔d wiθ surpriz.
            “Rēalē,” hē anser۔d wiθ a tinj ov sarkazim.  Her bēhāvyōr inkrēs۔d his suspixun:  it wud hav bēn almōst imposable fōr θe maxēn tū hav krax۔d sō kwik۔lē, twīs, if xē had not bēn awār ov it.  Hē māk۔d a dēsixon:  “Sorē, Ī kant yūs an non-rēlī۔abel maxēn.  Ī want mī monē bak.”
            Nō sound from xē.
            “Helō?” hē sā۔d intū θe telefōn.
            “Helō,” xē anser۔d.  “Ī dōnt no wut tū sā.  Yū purqas۔d it, θerfōr…”
            “Bēkuz yū sā۔d yū had not had anē trubel wiθ it.”
            “Ī had not.”
            Hē fēel۔d sertin xē wuz lī۔ing.
            “Lōok,” hē sā۔d, trī۔ing not tū sound ānger۔ē.  “Ī wil mēt yū bak at θe sām plās in haf a klokhour.  Yū bring θe monē and Ī wil bring θe laptop and wē wil fōrget θe entīer θing.”
            Nō sound from her end.  Fīnal۔lē xē sā۔d, “Ī hav alredē spend۔d θe monē.”
            Hē θink۔d, ‘Lī۔ing agin,’ and fēel۔d his fās bēkum hot.
            “Θer iz nothin Ī kan dū,” xē sā۔d kwīet۔lē.
            “Ī want mī monē bak,” hē stāt۔d kalm۔lē.
            Θen hē ērhēr۔d a klik az xē dis۔konekt۔d.
            Wen hē telefōn۔d bak, xē dint anser.
            Hē sit۔d bakdown on θe stūol, lōokstār۔ing at θe non۔funkxunal kontrapxun, his hed in his hand۔s.  “Xē qēt۔d mē,” hē sā۔d outloud.
            Dur θe nekst twū klokhour۔s θe laptop krax۔d θrē mōr okāxun۔s.
            Mid۔afternūn θat sām Saturdā, Jēsus Diaz step۔d of a bus, pūx۔d ōpen tū θe dōr bēnēθ a xabē sīn rēd۔ing “Rio de la Plata Ēlektronik·proses۔ōr Rēpār”, and wok۔d rēr۔ward tōward a fat mid-āj۔ē man wiθ a drūp۔ing mustax – θe won pēpel hū hē had bēn ābel tū rēq vīa telefōn hū wuz familyar wiθ Lēō۔s. 
            “Ī iz θe gī wiθ θe Lēō,” Diaz sā۔d, lā۔ing θe displā kās on θe kounter.
            “Ī wil qek it.”  Θe rēpār۔man pul۔d out θe silver kolor۔ē maxēn, ōpen۔d it, and koment۔d, “Θis pēs ov junk, agin?”
            “Wut dū yū mēn?”
            “It mā not bē θe ōnlē Lēō in town, but Ī wil bē wilin tū bet it iz θe ōnlē won wiθ θe model number rub۔t of.”  Hē pōint۔d tū θe number bēlō θe blak “Lēō”, hūz dijit۔s wuz non۔rēd۔abel.
            “Wut dū yū nēd θe number fōr?” ask۔d Diaz wiθ inkrēs۔ing konsern.
            “Ī dōnt nēd it now.”  Hē lōok۔d at his kustomōr.  “Ī wil tel yū θe sām θing Ī tel۔d al θe oθer۔s.”
            “Al θe oθer۔s?”
            “Θe fōur oθer pēpel۔s hū bring۔d θis maxēn in tū bē rēpār۔t:  It iz not fiks۔abel.”
            “Wut dū yū mēn, not fiks۔abel?” sā۔d Diaz, his vōis rīz۔ing.
            “Θe stōraj disk dōnt sēt proper۔lē,” θe rēpār man eksplān۔d.  “Θat iz wī sombodē stik۔d a bit ov kardbōrd on top ov it tū pres it down۔ward.”  Hē turn۔d θe laptop up·sīd·down, pik۔d up a smal skrū·turn۔ōr, and dis۔skrū۔d and rēmūv۔d θe rektāngyūlar metal plāt – rēvēl۔ing a pēs ov kardbōrd lā۔ing on top ov a rektāngyūlar blak plastik boks wiq Diaz infer۔d wuz θe stōraj disk.  “Nōmater how wē fidel۔d wiθ it, it wōnt stā snug.  And if it’s not snug θe konekxun wil brāk.  Θe falt iz in θe manyūfaktūr۔ōr – slopē standard۔s.
            Diaz sī۔d.
            “Alīk Ī tel۔d θe oθer۔s, if yū lēv it on a tābel, and iz kārful۔lē about not nudj۔ing it, and kopēsāv yōr dāta frēkwent۔lē, it iz stil yūs۔abel.”
            “But Ī nēd tū karē it around fōr sāel۔s presentāxun۔s,” sā۔d Diaz, trī۔ing tū kēp desperāxun out ov his tōn.
            “Not wiθ θat won, yū wōnt,” sā۔d θe rēpār۔man az hē skrū۔d θe plāt bak on.
            Wiθout anoθer word Diaz put۔d θe maxēn bak in it’s kās.  At θe dōr hē turn۔d around.  “Wuz θe rēsent۔est ov θe fōur pēpel۔s hū bring۔d in θe Lēō, a big-būsom۔ē woman wiθ xōrt brown kurl۔ē hār۔s, ap āj 32, nām۔d Elena?”
            “Xē dint giv her nām, but θe deskripxun fit.”
            Saturdā ēvenin wuz aprōq۔ing, wen Diaz and Bibēana yūsūal۔lē go۔d tū a mūvē, okāxun۔lē wiθ diner bēfōr ōr a snak afterward; hē fēel۔d θankful θat xē wuz awā at her sister’s hous dur θe wēkend.  On θe bus rēturn۔ing tū his apartment hē ekspērēens۔d a mikstūr ov emōxun۔s:  mān۔lē mūd·deprexun, interupt۔d wiθ bout۔s ov rāj.  Hē had trubel imajin۔ing wut tīp ov pēpel wud deliberāt۔lē qēt sombodē.  Lōok۔ing bak ōver his līf, hē kud not θink ov a singel tīm hē had qēt۔d anēbodē.  Ēven at work, wār it wuz al tyū ēzē tū “fōrget” tū menxun a kloz ōr kondixun, az som ov his kolēg۔s dū۔d, Diaz had a repyūtāxun az a “strāt talk۔ōr”.  A kalm man, hē had lern۔d in komers how tū kēp emōxun under kontrōl.  ‘Wut hapen tū yū mater les θan how yū rēakt.’  A perl ov wizdom rēmember۔d from his moθer.
            Bak hōm hē trī۔d telefōn۔ing Elena agin, ōnlē tū lern θat xē had blok۔d his number – a simpel proses wiθ anē dijital telefōn tū prēvent rēsēv۔ing non۔want۔t telefōnkal۔s from spesifīk number۔s.  Non۔abel tū komyūnikāt wiθ xē aktūal۔lē alow۔d hē som rēlēf:  xē wud hav rēfyūz۔d tū rēfund his monē, and hē wud hav bēn tempt۔d tū sā θing۔s θat a man alīk hiself, hū alwās trī۔d tū bēhāv korekt۔lē, xud never sā.
            It wuz not until lāter, wen hē wuz fēel۔ing hunger۔ē agin, θat hē rēalīz۔d θat hē fās۔d a dilema:  wut tū dū.  His prēvēus asūmpxun wuz tū start sāv۔ing fōr anoθer laptop, delā his plan۔s anoθer yēr, hōp Bibēana kud wiθstand parental prexur tū abandon hē, hōp θe vītamin opōrtūnitē wud wāt.  But θat sēm۔d sō non۔aksept۔abel.
            In a pan hē bōil۔d spagetē and from a jar ad۔d sos.  But, θink۔ing, hē hardlē tāst۔d his diner.  Hē kud kontinyū haras۔ing Elena tū rēturn his monē, telefōn۔ing xē from a varīetē ov publik telefōn۔s (θat wud not bē blok۔t), kontakt Montevideō Edyūkāxun department tū trī tū fīnd wār xē work۔d and haras xē θer, but sins xē had gon tū al θe trubel ov put۔ing an advert tū qēt sombodē, θer sēm۔d nō posibelitē xē wud hav a qānj ov hart.  If hē kud somhow lōkāt xē, hē kud fīel a losūt aganst xē, but his ōnlē witnes, θe rēpār۔man, wud sertin۔lē not agrē tū spend atlēst haf a dā sit۔ing in a lokōrt·rūm, and ēven if hē win۔d, kolekt۔ing θe monē wud bē difikult if not imposibel.  Bī θat tīm xē wud hav spend۔d θe monē, probabel۔lē fōr anoθer laptop, hē θink۔d tū his dismā.  ‘Skum,’ wuz wut hē fīnal۔lē lābel۔d xē, fēel۔ing konfīdent θat θat tīp ov pēpel wuz dūm۔t tū an un۔hapē līf.  ‘Θe world wud hav bēn beter of if xē had not bēn birθ۔d.’
            Rēgard۔in oθer opxun۔s, al θat rēmān۔d wuz…  It rēkwīer۔d anoθer ful klokhour bēfōr hē ēven aksept۔d θe nekst θot:  ‘Sel it.’
            ‘But if Ī tel θe trūθ, nōbodē wil purqas it.’  Sel۔ing it wud rēkwīer lī۔ing.  ‘Non۔aksept۔abel.’  Θat wud put hē in θe sām lēg az ‘Elena Skum’.
            Hē sit۔d on his bed, xun۔ing his habit ov waq۔ing televixun.  His līf۔stīl, ever sins Fostō tel۔d hē how muq monē hē wuz ern۔ing sel۔ing vītamin۔s, wuz minimalist.  Eksept fōr Saturdā nīt rōmdāt۔s wiθ Bibēana, Sundā mōrnin kontribyūxun۔s tū θe qurq kolektxun dix, and wons per wēk purqas۔ing a nūzpāper, hē trī۔d not tū spend ēven won non۔nesesārē pesō.  His kolēg۔s, kontrast۔lē, purqas۔d odēō·vidēō·disk۔s of mūvē۔s and myūzik tū plā on θā's fansē hōm-entertānment sistem۔s, ōr spend۔d gob۔s on klōz.  ‘Al fōr nothin,’ hē sumarīz۔d his yēr ov sāv۔ing. ‘Bēkuz ov won lī۔ing biq.  Wut iz θe world kom۔ing tū, wiθ pēpel۔s alīk xē alow۔d tū wok around frē?’
            Θōs Lēō۔s θat hē okāxun۔lē nōtis۔d advertīz۔t – mābē θā wuz al θe sām Lēō, hē θink۔d.  Lāter it okur۔d tū hē θat θe Lēō had posibel۔lē bēn pas۔d from purqas۔ōr tū purqas۔ōr not ōnlē in Ūrugwī but in Tīwan.  ‘Mābē in Tīwan evrēbodē no about Leos, θus sombodē hū wuz kom۔ing hēr anēwā bring۔d it hēr tū sel.’  “Θerfōr wī xud Ī get stik۔d wiθ it?’ wuz his nekst θot.  Θe ekspensiv dēfektiv maxēn wuz probabel۔lē destin۔t tū kontinyū sirkyūlāt۔ing until it rēq۔d θe hand۔s ov an onest pēpel, hū wud lūz tā’s monē.  ‘Θat dōnt sēm fār.’
            ‘Θe simpel۔est θing,’ hē lāter fantasīz۔d, wud bē tū plās an Internet advert, and pas it of tū θe nekst suk۔ōr.’  Hē glans۔d ōver at his desk at his desk۔top maxēn.  Insert۔ing an Internet advert, wiq wuz gratis, rēkwīer۔d ōnlē a fyū minut۔s.  Prospektiv purqas۔ōrs wud bē rēd۔ing it θat sām ēvenin.
            ‘If Bibēana ever no۔d, xē wud not marē mē.’  It had never okur۔d tū hē tū bē tū xē anēθin but trūθful.  But nōbodē wud no about it.  Hē kud almōst sertin۔lē sel it wiθout anēbodē hē no۔d no۔ing.
            Stil dres۔d, hē lā۔d rēr۔ward on his pilō, his hed spin۔ing wiθ non۔rēsolv۔t θot۔s, until hē wuz fīnal۔lē ōverkom wiθ slēp.
            Sundā mōrnin, after a parxal۔lē slēp۔les nīt, hē awāk۔d lāt.  Hē desīd۔d, non۔kārateristik۔lē, not tū atend kaθōlikmas.  Hē ī۔d, akros θe rūm, θe Lēō laptop.  Hē fantasīz۔d ōpen۔ing θe windō, θrō۔ing it out, waq۔ing it fal al θrē flōr·level۔s down۔ward, until it hit۔d θe konkrēt park·landlot bēlō and… krax۔d.
            In his nekst fantasē hē wuz hand۔ing it tū a fās۔les prospektiv purqas۔ōr in rēturn fōr 30,000 pesos kax. 
            ‘Wut xal Ī dū?’ 
            Hē fēel۔d gilt۔ē about not atend۔ing kaθōlikmas.
            Hē konsider۔d telefōn۔ing Bibēana, ōr konsult۔ing his parent۔s.  But hē no۔d wut θā wud al sā:  ēt θe los.  Θe īdēa ov mīser۔lē gard۔ing pesos fōr anoθer entīer yēr sēm۔d imposibel.  Pēpel۔s sēz۔d nū opōrtūnitē۔s, hē no۔d; in anoθer yēr manē pēpel۔s wud bē trī۔ing tū sel vītamin۔s, hē predikt۔d.
            Wiθout no۔ing wī, hē swiq۔d on his desk۔top ēlektronik·proses۔ōr.  Lōokstār۔ing at θe ē۔displā, hē manūver۔d intū θe lōkal ēlektronik۔s-fōr-sāel sekxun.  Elena’s advert had disapēr۔d.  Fīv prēvēus۔lē ōn۔t laptops wuz ofer۔d, al hī prīs۔d.
            Impulsiv۔lē hē klik۔d on “Nū Advert”, and on θe kēbord tīp۔d:  “Laptop wiθ vidēō plā۔ōr.  20 gig stōraj disk.  Karē۔ing kās inklūd۔d.  30,000 pesos,” and ad۔d his telefōn number.  Θen hē klik۔d on “Pōst”.
            Rē-qek۔ing θe “fōr sāel” sekxun, his advert had alredē apēr۔d.
            Hē lā۔d rēr۔ward on his bed, xut۔d his ī۔s, and trī۔d tū rēturn tū slēp.  ‘Mēr۔lē bēkuz Ī pōst۔d an advert dōnt Ī plan tū sel it,’ hē konsōl۔d hiself.
            Θe telefōn wuz ring۔ing wen hē ōpen۔d his ī۔s agin.  Brīt līt strēm۔d in from bēhīnd θe tan windō kurtin.  Hē rēq۔d fōr it.  “Helō?”
            “Helō.”  A matūr woman’s vōis.  “Ī iz telefōn۔ing about yōr ēlektronik·proses۔ōr.”
            “Ēlektronik·proses۔ōr?”  Θe entīer nītmēr rēturn۔d tū Diaz’s konxusnes.  Θen hē rēmember۔d θat hē had put۔d an advert.
            “Dū yū hav an ēlektronik·proses۔ōr fōr sāel?” ask۔d θe telefōn۔ōrm.
            “Yes.”
            “Iz θat θe sām Lēō Ī sē۔d advertīz۔d yesterdā, wiθ a diferent telefōn number?”
            At a los fōr wut tū sā, Diaz anser۔d trūθful۔lē, “Yes.”  Wen θe telefon۔ōr dint rēspond hē rēalīz۔d xē wuz wāt۔ing fōr an eksplānāxun.  “Ī iz sel۔ing it fōr mī galfrend.”  Fīnal۔lē ful۔bē awāk, hē fēel۔d agast at how ēzē۔lē hē had invent۔d a fib.
            “Dū yū mīnd mī ask۔ing?  Wī iz yū sel۔ing it sō qēp?  Iz somθin rong wiθ it?”
            “Nō, it funkxun perfekt۔lē,” Diaz lī۔d agin.  “It iz a Lēō brand,” hē ad۔d, “Not az ekspensiv az som ov θe mōr komon brand۔s hēr in Ūrugwī.”
            “But Ī hav sē۔d manē Leos advertīz۔d on Internet.”
            “Ō.”  Hē kud not posibel۔lē tel xē θā wuz al θe sām Lēō.
            “Wel, Ī want tū purqas it.  It iz eksakt۔lē wut wē want.  Kan Ī kom sē it?”
            Diaz wonder۔d hū “wē” wuz, and rēalīz۔d hē dint want anē purqas۔ōr tū no his adres.  “Aktūal۔lē, Ī iz justnow plan۔ing tū gō out.  Ī kud stop bī yōr plās wiθ it.”
            “Kud yū rēalē?  Yū iz sō nīs.  Kan yū kom tū Plaza Matriz?”
            Θe publikpark fōur strētblok۔s nōrθ·west ov Plaza Espanya.  “Xur.”
            “Ī wil mēt yū direkt۔lē in front ov θe kaθēdral.”
            “Alrīt, xur.  Wut tīm?”
            “Iz twū ōklok tyū sūn?
            “Nō.”
            “Dū yū want mī poket·telefōn number, justinkās?”
            “Ōkā xur.”  Hē pul۔d θe pāper from his walet, and bēsīd Elena’s number rīt۔d, “356-2148.”
            “Ī iz Angela Gomez,” xē ad۔d.  “Ask anēbodē; θā wil no mē.”
            Hurē۔ing along θe sīdwok, Diaz fēel۔d apal۔d at θe ēz and spēd wiθ wiq hē kud invent lī۔s, and deliverē θā masterful۔lē.  It wuz az θō θe devil had bēn lurk۔ing bēhīnd his Kristēan mask his entīer līf.  It okur۔d tū hē θat θe epesōd wuz a test.  ‘But wī xud Ī bē θe won fōrs۔d tū pā fōr θis pēs ov junk?’ – θe kwestyon hē kontinyū۔lē rēturn۔d tū.  Az hē nēr۔d θe plaza, hē fēel۔d nervus.  ‘Wut if it krax wīel xē iz test۔ing it?  Wut wil Ī sā?’
            Hē wok۔d intū Plaza Matriz from θe oposit sīd ov Montevideō Metropolitan Kaθēdral, hūz twin tower۔s hē kud sē·θrū lēf۔ē trē-s.  Erlē Sundā afternūn on a mīld dā, θe publikpark wuz ful ov pēpel۔s:  strōl۔ing kupel۔s, som wiθ θā's qīldren, pēpel۔s sit۔ing on benq۔s.  A strēt vīōlinōrm plā۔d a tūn Diaz wuz not familyar wiθ.  Nēr θe kaθēdral end ov θe publikpark a grūp ov ap ten yung woman۔s mil۔d around twū long sīd-bī-sīd·tabel۔s on wiq wuz displā۔t kōokē۔s and pī۔s.  Diaz wok۔d ōver and sā۔d, “Ī iz lōok۔ing fōr Angela Gomez.”
            Several ov θe yung woman۔s pōint۔d tū a xōrt brown-hārs۔ē mid-āj۔ē woman wiθ larj brown ī۔s, hū az xē aprōq۔d Diaz glans۔d down at θe blak karē۔ing kās swing۔ing from his xōlder, and smīl۔d.  “Ī iz Angela.  Θank yū fōr kom۔ing!”
            “Ī iz Jēsus Diaz.  Plēzd tū mēt yū.”
            “Jēsus!  Θe best ov al nām۔s.”  In Souθ Amerika man۔s nām۔d after θe kontinental fāvorit wuz komon.
            “Ī iz afrād Ī hav not liv۔d ēkwal tū mī nāmsāk.”
            “Nōbodē hav.  Ōr ever wil.  Wē al simpel۔lē dū θe best wē kan.”
            Hē nod۔d vāg۔lē.
            Angela turn۔d around tū her kompanyon۔s, and eksklām۔d, “Lādē۔s, lōok.  Θe laptop!”
            Hē pul۔d θe ēlektronik·proses۔ōr from θe bag, az θe yung lādē۔s krowd۔d around eksīt۔lē.  Won dub۔d it “kyūt”, wīel anoθer koment۔d, “Perfekt.”  Angela, tāk۔ing it in her hand۔s, deklār۔d it “not tyū hevē”.
            Diaz swiq۔d it on, hōp۔ing it wud not krax.  It’s ē۔displā ilūmināt۔d wiθ θe byūtēful grēn kolor, amid mōr admīer۔ing noises from θe woman۔s.
            Θink۔d Dias hōpful۔lē, ‘Mābē θā iz plan۔ing tū yūs it in a singel lōkāxun, θus it wil bē alrīt.  “Wut iz yū plan۔ing tū yūs it fōr?” hē ask۔d kasūal۔lē.
            “Ō, wē iz Mūvē۔s fōr Xut-ins.  Hav yū ērhēr۔d ov wē?  Wē iz sponsōr۔t bī θe kaθēdral.”
            Grōn۔ing insīd, Diaz admit۔d hē wuz not sertin.
            “Wē voluntēr۔ōr tū tāk mūvē۔s around tū Ūrugwī’s hospital۔s and nurs۔ing hōm۔s and xō θā tū bed-rīd۔t medpāxent۔s hū rār۔lē rēsēv visit۔ōrs.  After waq۔ing θe mūvē۔s tūgeθer, wē diskus θā.  Iz θat not a wonderful īdēa!”
            “Wonderful,” Diaz rēpēt۔d dul۔ly. 
            “Wē hav arānj۔d bāk sāel۔s sins erlē springtīm.  Voluntēr۔ōrs bāk kōokē۔s and pī۔s, wiq wē sel on θe kaθēdral lon on Sundays.  Θat iz how wē rāz۔d θe monē fōr θis ēlektronik·proses۔ōr.  Iz not it eksīt۔ē?!”  Xē smīl۔d wīd۔lē
            Θe yung man grōn۔d agin, θat tīm odibel۔lē.  Hē wuz bēgin۔ing tū vyū θe ekspērēens az a spiritūal disaster.  Weθer ōr not hē stil want۔d tū sel it, hē definit۔lē dint want tū sel it tū xē.
            “Dōnt yū want tū trī it first?”
            “Ō, nō, Ī trust yū.”
            Hē trī۔d tū θink ov a wā out ov his dilema.  “Wī?”
            “A man nām۔d Jēsus wud never qēt a woman nām۔d Angela.”
            Wiθ θe bak ov his hand hē wīp۔d swet from his brow.  “Mābē Ī dōnt want tū sel it.”
            “Ō, but yū must!”  Xē lōok۔d up intū his ī۔s alīk an inosent qīld beg۔ing an adult tū bē nīs tū xē.  “Wē iz al eksīt۔ē!”  Xē rēq۔d intū her purs, and pul۔d out a θik wad ov pāper·monē۔s ruber-band۔t tūgeθer.
            Rēluktant۔lē hē aksept۔d it, fōld۔d θā wons, and θrust۔d θā intū his front rītsīd trouser poket.
            “Iz yū not gō۔ing tū kount θā?”
            “Ī trust yū.”  Hē hand۔d xē θe maxēn in it’s kās.
            Xē bēm۔d at hē ānjelik۔lē, tū wiq hē rēspond۔d wiθ a fōrs۔d smīl.
            Θen xē turn۔d and run۔d bak tōward her grūp.
            “Trī not tū bump it,” hē kal۔d after xē.
            Bak in his apartment agin, Jēsus Diaz fēel۔d miserabel.  ‘Al θōs insult۔s Ī xower۔d on skum Elena, xud not Ī now xower θā upon mīself?’  Hē had alwās konsider۔d hiself rēlijus.  But yēr۔s ov Sundays atend۔ing kaθōlikmas and partisipāt۔ing in θe ritūal۔s pāl۔d kompār۔d tū θe rong dēd had dū۔d.
            Hē ekspekt۔d θe telefōn tū ring anē mōment, wiθ Angela komplān۔ing θat her ēlektronik·proses۔ōr had krax۔d.  ‘If xē telefōn mē, wut xal Ī dū?’ a nū kwandarē.  His rēspons tiltlēn۔d tōward rēfund۔ing her monē, wiq wud present yet anoθer kwandarē:  weθer tū advertīz it fōr sāel agin.  Mēnwīel, hē prā۔d fōr a mirakel, θat somhow θe dēfektiv maxēn, purqas۔d fōr suq a worθ۔ē koz, wud funkxun proper۔lē.  Wen fīnal۔lē tyū lāt tū telefōn, hē konklūd۔d θat xē had not yet swiq۔d it on.
            Θat Sundā ēvenin, after won ov θe fyū wēkend۔s hē had not sē۔d Bibēana, hē dint telefōn xē.  Hē nōlonger fēel۔d worθ۔ē.
            Won wēk lāter, θe folō۔ing Saturdā afternūn, wen Angela stil had not telefōn۔d hē, hē wuz start۔ing tū bēlēv θat θe mirakel hē had prā۔d fōr had kom trū.  It sēm۔d probabel θat if xē had not telefōn۔d bī θen tū rēpōrt a problem, xē probabel۔lē never wud. 
            Θus, bēfōr xower۔ing fōr his rōmdāt wiθ Bibēana θat nīt, hē desīd۔d it wuz tīm tū qek θe Internet advert۔s agin, tū sē if θer wuz an aford۔abel laptop wiθ a vidēō plā۔ōr.  Bak on trak ov his plan tū sel vītamin۔s, rē۔lōkāt tū an apartment big enuf fōr twū, and marē θe woman hē luv۔d.
            Hē swiq۔d on his ōld desk۔top maxēn, and manūver۔d tū θe lōkal “Ēlektronik۔s fōr Sāel” sītplās.  List۔d wuz twū HP brand۔s, a Compaq, and an IBM, al tyū hī prīs۔d.  Wen his ī۔s fōkus۔d on θe last advert, hē brēθ۔d in xarp۔lē.  “Laptop wiθ vidēō plā۔ōr,” θe advert rēd۔d.  “20 gig stōraj disk.  30,000 pesos.  Lēō brand.  Kal 356-2148.”
            Jēsus Diaz laf۔d outloud – les from hyūmor θan from konxens rēlēf.  Θen hē pul۔d θe pāper in his walet and kompār۔d Ānjel۔s’s telefōn number wiθ θe number in θe advert.  Θā maq۔d.  Atlēst, hē θink۔d, θe gōodhārt۔ē Mūvē۔s fōr Xut-ins voluntēr۔ōr wud not bē stik۔t wiθ θrē mōr monθ۔s bāk۔ing, and familē۔les frend۔les xut-ins kud bēgin enjōē۔ing θā's kompanē.  Sūn θe Lēō wud bē sombodē els’s problem.
            Hē trī۔d, az hē xower۔d and xāv۔d and dres۔d fōr θe ēvenin wiθ Bibēana, tū fōkus on his gōod nūz.  Sūn hē wud purqas a laptop – after test۔ing it θūrō۔lē – and bēgin sel۔ing vītamin۔s – θe tiket tū marē۔ing Bibēana and birθ۔ing qīldren.
            But, hē desīd۔d az hē rīd۔d θe bus tū mēt Bibēana, θe ekspērēens had fundamental۔lē qānj۔d hē.  ‘Muq ēzē۔er tū dū θe rīt θing wen līf iz gō۔ing smūθ۔lē,’ hē had lern۔d.  ‘Trū test۔s ov karakter dōnt kom often.’  His hē had flunk۔d.  Θus hē kud nōlonger konsider۔d hiself a mōral man.  Ovkōrs, hē wud never tel Bibēana, ōr anēbodē.  His sēkret.  Okur۔t tū hē θat hē wuz qēt۔ing Bibēana, hīd۔ing from θe woman hē luv۔d wut tīp ov man hē rēalē wuz.
            A fyū strētblok۔s lāter hē alsō rēalīz۔d θat nun ov θe pēpel۔s hū had bēn in temporārē posexun ov θe dēfektiv laptop had ultimāt۔lē bēn hurt۔t fīnanxal۔lē, yet al had bēn jōlt۔d spiritūal۔lē.  Θe dēvīs wuz a mōralitē test۔ōr, sirkyūlāt۔ing among θe bāsik۔bē mōral sitizen۔s of Montevideō.  Hē wonder۔d how manē mōr okāxun۔s hē wud sē θe Lēō advert – until it fīnal۔lē rēq۔d θe hand۔s ov sombodē onest.
            At θe front gāt ov Bibēana’s apartment bild۔ing, ilūmināt۔t bī yelō strēt·lamp filter۔t θrū a trē, az hē waq۔d xē wok۔ing tōward hē, weār۔ing a brīt red dres ōver her feminin xāp, brown hār۔s bouns۔ing of her xōlder۔s, her wīd smīl fād۔d and a rinkel fōrm۔d abov her nōz.  Bī θe tīm xē rēq۔d hē, her fōrhed wuz līn۔d wiθ worē. 
            Xē put۔d her hand on his xōlder, her brown ī۔s lōok۔ing up intū his, and ask۔d, “Wut iz rong?”
            Hē frown۔d.  Wutever his anser, it wud bē a lī.